how short can I go?

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut short. At the moment it's like this:

From the front I look like this. How short can I go? This is my most recent cut, but the longer ends at the front really don't work with how I live.

two steps forward........

Anyone who reads this who knows me, also knows that I have spent many years struggling with crippling anxiety. This anxiety does many weird and wonderful things for me and as a result I haven't had a proper holiday, ever, as an adult. In a way this is normal for me, but I should think anyone reading this might find that really odd.

With the help of a good therapist and a lot of hard work, I am much, much better. So, this week we booked a week away in a holiday cottage in the south west. After 4 hours of driving, many country lanes and finding the cottage rather smaller than we expected, we came home. This has happened before, but because I've been too anxious to stay. This was different - neither of us wanted to be there. It was small and pokey and near nothing, despite what it looked like on the map.

One step back?

Well. I've realised that my healing has led me to a love of 4 star hotels. Quite frankly I am done with holiday cottages. When I go away I don't want to make myself breakfast, or do the washing up. I want to be spoiled and pampered and have some one make my bed. So, we have booked ourselves into a four star hotel in the slightly closer south west and are heading off again tomorrow. This place has a pool and a gym and a decent restaurant.

Definitely two steps forward.

On the subject of knitting - mum is helping me finish sis's birthday present and I have a pair of socks to take away with me. 

The garden is looking like a garden - yay!!!

The cats are getting used to us letting them in the front door at night. If we're not here, will they hide in the porch or remember they have a cat flap they are perfectly capable of using??? we shall see.....

stubbornness

I'm going away next week so I have been trying to wean the cats off me and MrHB. This involves actions such as not showing them the food every time they meeow at me, not letting them in every time they sit at the front window and look sad. 

I don't think it's working. I'm a stubborn woman, but the cats are beating me. Eddie is asleep on the window sill and Kiki is just, well, looking.

Is it possible that they will stay out all night and not find the food bowls unless we're around to show them????

I just did one of those Facebook '5' lists. What would you do if you won millions on the lottery. I realised my life might have what others consider to be a narrow focus. 

1 - mortgage

2 - yarn

3 - yarn shop

4 - alpacas. Would have been llamas too, but the only photos were of llamas shagging

5 - a full domestic service so I would never have to do cleaning ever again and that would bring me tea in the morning.

Maybe I should branch out into needlework 

Anomoly

The birthdays were good. As always I get to the end of the round of celebrations and need a bit of a quiet time to recover. The Easter weekend has been well times this year to coincide with sleep time, so i spent it sleeping and resting up.

I also spent it re-knitting the front of sis's birthday cardigan because the stupid flipping pattern has an error in it that I was going too fast to pick up! I'm cross at myself for not noticing and am left wondering once again whether the test knitter actually read the pattern or just made it up, because the photo on the front looks not much like what I'm doing. Grrrrrr........

So fast forward to this week and I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday to take out a lipoma in my back. A lipoma is apparently a small collection of fat cells that gather under the skin. Very straightforward to remove, allegedly. I know at least 3 people who have had this done. So I was expecting the cauterisation (enter imagined smell of burned flesh here), I was expecting it to sound unpleasant, I was expecting the tugging sensation. What I was not expecting was that I would bleed and bleed and bleed. That the doctor would have to keep cauterising and keep putting all of his body weight onto the wound to stop it bleeding. Eventually after about 40 minutes and a huge pile of swabs had formed, he stopped the bleeding and put the dressing on. 

Apparently I had an anomolous lipoma. One that had fibres in it. I've googled and it's OK, they do exist but are rare. So today I'm taking the day off work to get over the blood loss and general tiredness.

If I get one of these again, I swear, I'll live with it.

Where has the time gone?

It seems like ages since I wrote a proper post. I've been mired in work and going out to do birthday celebrations so haven't necessarily had the time to sit down and think about what I want to say.

But, I'm in the office and a little bored, so I thought instead of working I would write this.

Something that's been annoying me is that i don't seem to be able to save the font I use for this so every time I start I have to go and check which font I used the last time. I think that it's Georgia, but I could be wrong! Also, you may have noticed but I haven't got the hang of putting photos up yet.

Hmm, no it's not Georgia, I'm going to change it to Verdana.

What's going on in my life? Well, today I wanted to post because I am immensely excited that Obama is in London. I am a very political person. I care deeply what's happening in this country and always vote and vote seriously. But I never really understood the adoration that Americans in particular seem to feel for their presidents. After all, they're people who don't seem to understand what happens on the ground when they make decisions. I've always felt that about our Prime Ministers too. But Obama, he's different. He's bright and he seems to get it. Like he wakes up every morning and says "Right, don't fuck up today, what I do really matters". So he's here in London and I actually want to try and see him. Hero worshipping a president - whatever next?? He'd better not let me down.

Things are a bit slow in the knitting world. Sis is absolutely not going to get her birthday cardigan on time. I was sort of probably going to at least finish knitting it before the weekend, but baby C came and so I'm distracted by doing a new born cardi for her instead. I am knitting this one: http://www.sirdar.co.uk/designs/babiesDesigns/sweatersBabies/1830
Hmm, don't know how to edit the link there either. More homework!

The garden is taking up my thinking and my energy. I have planted out some sweet pea seedlings I raised from scratch and also some onion sets. I can't believe the pleasure I get from being there in the slight warmth. It's like I've come home. There is an essential peace that I get from gardening that I don't get from anything else I do, including knitting.

Aside from that, there is a birthday tomorrow - my very significant one! Mr HB has arranged something and I don't know what it is. I'm trying not to get too anxious about it and just trust him instead. I get ridiculously excited about birthdays. I love the fuss and the feeling special. It kind of makes up for really not enjoying Christmas at any level!

I'll try and post next week and let you all know what special treats I got.

Have a good week.

Hels

A new addiction

I just made my first origami. This could get seriously addictive.

Spring has Sprung

Today I received my first gift of the year from the cats. No, not a huge fur ball but a dead starling, thoughtfully left under the bathroom sink. No wonder Eddie was looking so very pleased with himself when I got home.

I actually squealed - like a girl! Not because I'm squeamish about picking up dead birds, because I'm not. But it was a surprise. Normally they leave them in the living room......

Early Warning

Dear Sis,

That piece of knitting I'm doing for your birthday? There might be a bit of a delay due to absolutely stupid instructions. A large amount of frogging has occurred. Also, I want to get a baby hat done for the forthcoming baby C, who is due before your birthday.

Thought you should know xx

PS - The arrival of my loom might speed things up a bit though, because I promise not to get embroiled with it until the birthday knitting is done.

PPS - Are you allergic to bunnies? Got some lovely angora from Unravel last weekend.

Quickie

This is a quick update from work. My week has been like this:

- gardening, done
- knitting, some more done
- some bastard stole my bank details so I can't do anything with my account except queue for hours to get money out over the counter - done!!

This weekend I am planning to go to Unravel Knitting Festival in Farnham. I've no idea what it will be like, but it's probably quite handy that I have limited access to money at the moment......

Anything for the weekend?

What are you planning on doing this weekend? Aside from the vague hearts and flowers stuff tomorrow, I really want to get some serious knitting and gardening in.

I know, it's been snowing and it's been cold for so long I've actually got good at accessorizing hats and scarves. But I swear I can smell spring in the air. My gardening fingers are twitching in the same way my knitting fingers twitch in autumn. I've bought some aubergine seeds, some sweet pea seeds and others that it's too early for. But apparently you need to start aubergines and sweet peas now, so I'm going to give it a go. I will get the right sort of seed compost and put them in a little incubator on the back room window sill and really try to remember to water them. I just caught the end of Gardeners' Question Time and Pippa Greenwood (my organic veg plot guru) said it's also time to start antirhynum, or bunny rabbit plants as they've always been known in my family. This comes from when we were children and we would pick the flower heads off and squeeze the sides gently to open. Thinking about it, I'm really not sure why that relates specifically to bunny rabbits, but the name has stuck, as befits families. 

I am imagining a long, hot summer with climbers all over my fences and a new rose in deep red and deeply scented. (A girl can dream...) But, I need to prep first. So I am going to prune what need to be pruned and dig what needs to be dug. I thought I would have to prune my roses that have been recently planted. I've got one rambler, one climber and one shrub. The rambler went in the year before last and the other two last year. But I looked up pruning roses last night and it seems that none of my roses really need pruning! Whohoo! I just need to get dead or diseased bits out. The shrub rose would have been pruned, but it's called noisette and apparently they specifically grow flowers all the way up the stems, so should only be pruned for shape. The clematis will have a bit of work done on it, really to experiment.

The big job will be preparing my very small veg patch. It's only about 2 square metres and I've used it for the last two summers I've been in this house. Because of that, it's quite well dug, but I've got compost rotting away that needs using. After thinking about how to get it out of the bottom of the bin, without having to dismantle the whole thing, I realised at about 3.00 am (hmm, yes, I don't sleep that well thank you) that I could take the top off the bin, fork the contents into my wheelbarrow, mix them and then get the gorgeous compost from the bottom of the bin onto the soil. Then put un-rotted stuff back in bin, place some carpet over the veg patch to warm it up and hey presto, my garden is getting more ready for spring and I've done some outside exercise.

What am I knitting right now? I am trying to be faithful to one object. My sister asked me to make her a cardigan for her birthday, which is at the start of April. She has picked out the pattern and the yarn. It's made by Twilleys of Stamford and is a swing jacket with small lacey holes running up the front and back. I have finished one ball of yarn on it and think I will need another 9 to get it finished. I guess that Ravelry progress report should say 10%. gah. So, I will knit and knit this weekend until I'm not quite so panicked about it. Thankfully, sis is quite short waisted so I have cut out some rows and some repeats to get it a whole 3 inches shorter than I would need to make it for myself. 

Pssst, I might also be doing a job application, I haven't decided yet.

Mid life, fast approaching significant birthday event this week: my first professional dye job. The grey was getting more and more and my lovely rich brown less and less, so now it comes from a tube. 

Another family word - Slumpy

Must go now - Eddie is seriously disrupting my typing. I think he's forgotten to check his food bowl again.

Time

It's a cliche, 'where does time go'? But I'm sure that as you get older, it seems there is so much more to cram in, more to get done whilst you can. More knitting projects - I've got so many planned, more gardening to do - my garden's looking pretty bare and more things to see, more places to experience. The plan for this year is Berlin for a weekend and also a girls' weekend away. That's a big deal for me; for many years I've not travelled far and definitely not without Mr HB in tow.

I think I'm possibly having a mini mid-life crisis with a looming birthday. Right now it's manifesting itself in me being dissatisfied at work, wanting to trade in my Honda for a Fiat 500 - they are so snazzy and deciding that damn it, I hate housework and I'm going to get a cleaner!! That gives me more knitting time, although I would be lying if I said that doing housework took too much time away from knitting hah hah!

Also, many people seem to be ill at the moment. There have been a few bereavements that have impacted people I care about. I'm getting to that age when you have to face mortality of parents and also that it means you are mortal too. As some one who's always been possibly unhealthily obsessed with the idea that people I love may die, this is quite difficult to deal with. But I'm trying. I hear of another bereavement and I say, that's sad and they had a good life and try to take that in and mean it with my heart and not just my head. I'm trying, I'm sort of getting there.

I think about things very deeply. If I don't have space to think things through I get terribly agitated. I think this blog may reflect more of those thoughts than I first imagined. Certainly at the moment there is a lot to think about. Life doesn't feel that happy for many people, but I still smile and laugh every day. So, to make me smile and possibly my one other reader, this is what's making me smile and laugh at the moment:

- Making up alternative car names with Mr HB (Toyota Chlamydia for example)

- Meeting fellow knitters in real life and online

- Buying aubergine seeds early - this year they will grow

- My catties - love them, love them

- Realising I can do my job

- The Virgin Atlantic Advert - brilliant

- Knowing winter is over and spring is tangibly close

- Listening to music and singing along

- Just a Minute - Sue Perkins and Liza Tarbuck ganging up on Giles Brandreth - fab

- QI 

I'm going to post my blog title to Knitty now. Welcome Knitties to my world.

Lessons learned

Welcome. This is my first post in my new blog. This isn't my first blog, but I hope it will last longer than my last one. If I remember correctly, I had the urge to publish a political blog when something happened with the government and the BBC. I know what it was, but time has moved on so I won't go over old ground either. Now I think I'll be using this blog (blog number two) to record my knitting throughout the year and also my gardening plans and results. It might change as I write more. Currently I'm working out how to load photos and put in profile pics. It was looking terribly bare though with nothing in it at all, so accept these words whilst I get the hang of it.

Right now I am thinking about siblings. One of my siblings has a blog. When I put up my first template I thought it looked pretty and original (given so many people have blogger!) Then I looked again, thought it looked pretty and... familiar. Quick jump to my sibling's blog and yes, I'd chosen the exact same template. So, here's choice number two. Really, at my age, I would hope to be over sibling rivalry, but it seems not. Never mind; the content will be very different.

I've also changed and added some words. People tell me they spend a long time mulling over exactly what to put in their blog. I can see this will become addictive. Not only that, I have a tendency when writing to think that the reader can fill in my leaps of logic. Re-reading this I have corrected that.

My next post will hopefully have photos and a bit of cattie information. There we go, cats, gardens and knitting in my first post. Yay.